"Through Ryan’s mentoring I have learned how to not take things personally, which has been a big problem for me in the past. I have given myself a hard time when a guy has shut down a relationship, backed off or walked away because of their own issues but they have also projected their issues onto me! Learning about projection was vital because people can project without even realising what they’re doing, and this is toxic!
With Ryan’s wise guidance I was able to see the light and recognise that I was doing all I could in my relationship and that my partner (at the time) would not meet me in the middle!
I felt supported and encouraged by Ryan’s mentoring, he views a situation from the outside, he looks closely, investigates and then explains what is happening. Being able to turn to Ryan has saved me from falling into other toxic situations.
Ryan understands that every individual is different, everyone has different perceptions of what love is and how they approach finding meaningful relationships. How important communication is and discussing exactly what a person wants first, before anything can happen! Through Ryan’s guidance, I have been able to understand that what people want must be respected and that it is just different from what we want sometimes, and there is no point in pushing someone to be something, or to want the same as you, when clearly, they do not!
Be that confident person, know your worth and know what you want and move forward, keep your options open and you’ll know when you’ve found that true love, if that’s what you desire!"
Carly, She/Her, Freelancer, 2020
"Literally the world around me was full of potential but I was like a camera with a lens cap on, basically doing nothing. Days turned into months and months turned into years. Before I knew it, I was a 27 years old virgin man, struggling with life and unfortunately struggling to make friends or any sort of new friendship. The loneliness just seemed to be my way of life at this point.
No partner and definitely not sexually active. Watching all my friends flourishing around me in relationships and marriages, I felt this void would never truly be filled for me. I knew where I stood and I knew what could be achieved but I frustratingly couldn't see the steps to get there!
This is the stuff I began to learn with Ryan. Having zero sexual experience at my age, it was refreshing to hear from a trusted source and not the stuff we think is correct, such as pornographic content and unfortunately still, many unhealthy cultural norms. Learning how to effectively communicate better with the opposite sex is such an important and yet underrated skill. As a man, learning not to pretend to be something you are not, trying to portray this façade you think someone will love and accept. Having respect for myself too.
The way you treat yourself and carry yourself will set the tone for how people treat you.
I began to believe in myself and started to understand the ways of handling my emotions. Also starting to realize I can't control the actions of others and that truly I could only control mine. And that's what I needed to do.
I can recall one incident where a female friend of mine saw me walking across the street as she was driving. She pulled over to offer me a lift but I ran away, yes literally ran away! I know that raises so many questions, and frankly speaking, it happened so involuntarily. Yes, there was no threat or danger to my life or well-being in that moment. So what made me do that?!
Eventually I did find myself in a situation where I could progress and make a decent connection with a woman I met on a dating app. That led to me finally 'losing my virginity,' as they say. Interesting experience to say the least. It was surprisingly calmer than I expected it to be, but overall it was a good first time and she also had positive things to say, as if I'm a veteran at this! I'm grateful for the guidance I received beforehand as I have heard some first times don't go so well and lead to instant regret. Thank you for lifting me up from the murky depths of self doubt. I am now a different man!"
Anon, He/Him, University Student, 2022