Awards For Good Boys | Mandate Media Club #5
For the next Mandate Media Club, I’d like to dive into the world of Shelby Lorman, the comedian, author, and creator of the popular Instagram Account “Awards for Good Boys.” Her work brings a humorous approach to a provocative question: Why does society tend to reward men for doing the bare minimum? In past editions of The Mandate, I have referenced the “Nice Guy” trope which, broadly speaking, describes a man who presents himself as a kind soul but then becomes cruel or bitter when he doesn’t get what he wants. I think the “Good Boy” is a similar archetype. Lorman describes him as “a man who would never do anything explicitly bad but, consciously or not, uses his ‘goodness’ as a shield behind which he can get away with still-pretty-bad behavior on the grounds that it is not outwardly horrific.” Lorman’s work also points to a Light Version of the Good Boy, who is willing to challenge or change his problematic behaviors or beliefs (particularly those related to gender, power, or sex) only if his efforts are rewarded with praise. I should note that, according to Lorman, Good Boy behavior is not exclusive to men. A person of any gender can lack self-awareness and demand to be recognized for behaviors that appear as table stakes to everyone else. In this meeting, we’ll talk about how her work shifts our perceptions of gender and how we show up as Good Boys (or Girls) in our own lives.
The Material
Last year, Lorman stopped publishing on her Instagram because social media, as she put it, “broke [her] brain.” But there is plenty of material to go through there. Here are a handful of selects (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10). This is not necessary to participate in the meeting, but if you want to dive a little deeper, Lorman published a book by the same title in 2019. I just finished it and thought it was great.
Some questions for us to think about beforehand.
Lorman’s work has drawn the ire of a lot of men (she has posted the trollish messages she receives). Why do you think that is? Do you find yourself feeling provoked or uncomfortable in any way?
Why do we think this format works? What about her language and style makes her ideas resonate?
In what situations have you caught yourself being a good boy (or girl) in your own life?
How will this make you think about gender differently moving forward?
See you then!
Jason