100 Women in Solidarity 2021
During the latest lockdown, Zen Tea Lounge Foundation, a Western-Sydney based not-for-profit working to eliminate domestic violence in Australia, received 50% more calls for help from women with children. It also saw a 20% increase in phone calls from men asking for ways to help stop themselves from harming their own families.
Zen works tirelessly every day to support and improve the lives of survivors of domestic violence by helping them to overcome their emotional scars, which may last long after their physical wounds have healed. It has helped over 18,000 women to overcome their trauma.
On November 22nd, ahead of International Day of Elimination of Violence Against Women, Zen will be hosting the annual 100 Women in Solidarity event. The virtual event will bring people together to share stories, acknowledge supporters and openly discuss the problem of domestic violence in our communities. If you’re someone experiencing domestic violence, or simply wanting to make a change in your community, then this event is for you, giving you the tools needed to address these issues with your friends, family and community
Event highlights include:
Inspiring stories from domestic violence survivors
Q&A panel featuring DV survivors, advocates and political leaders including CEO of Quest for Life, Petrea King, domestic violence survivor and speaker, Simone O’Brien, CEO of Rape and Domestic Violence Services, Hayley Foster, Senator Mehreen Farqui and Senior Registrar at the Family Court of Australia, Dinh Tran
Presentations addressing domestic violence in CALD communities and toxic masculinity
Please join us in standing in solidarity with survivors of domestic violence.
Amy Nguyen, Co-Founder of Zen Tea Lounge Foundation, shares her thoughts on International Day of Non-Violence:
“Gandhi said, “nonviolence is a weapon of the strong.” This sentiment seems more pertinent in today’s world than ever. International Day of Non-Violence celebrated on Gandhi’s birthday is a chance for us to stop and remember the silent killer that takes the lives of one Australian woman a week.
“To Gandhi’s point, the most important thing we can do to stop the cycle of domestic violence is by re-assessing our perceptions of ‘strength and power’ in our community.
“We need to re-think how we educate ourselves and our sons, who will become future parents, partners, friends and leaders. Stamping out toxic masculinity and teaching emotional intelligence is critical to better help men understand and manage their emotions and that power does not come from violence. Teaching EQ at an early age can reduce the likelihood of family violence in future generations. A study in The Journal of Family Violence indicates that perpetrators of domestic violence score significantly lower than the general population on all components of EQ.”
“As we reflect on all the lives lost to domestic violence in the past year, we need to understand that we all play a role in ending the cycle, whether that be by learning or teaching, that strength does not come from violence.”
Read the Changemaker series on Amy Nguyen to learn more about her journey that led to the founding of Zen Tea Lounge Foundation.
Creating the space to empower women
Amy Nguyen is the founder of the Zen Tea Lounge Foundation, a charity-cafe dedicated to empowering women. She’s this week’s Changemaker.
After spending a number of years working in government social services, Amy Nguyen knew that she needed a change.
Feeling as though her work across drug and alcohol rehabilitation and welfare was only providing band-aid solutions to complex problems, she opened the Zen Tea Lounge as a social enterprise that could employ women facing domestic violence and social isolation.
But she soon realised that providing employment on its own wasn’t enough.
The foundation was set up to empower women emotionally and financially, offering mental health support, training workshops and employment via the restaurant
The workshops and events focus on everything from self defence to building emotional resilience, mindfulness techniques and meditation, arming vulnerable women with the skills to get their lives back on track.
The organisation works in collaboration with safe houses, refuge operators and law enforcement to ensure the women are fully supported while receiving help from the foundation. Zen Tea Lounge also receives help from trained counsellors and health practitioners to guide their workshops.
In this week’s Changemaker, Nguyen discusses the challenges of starting an organisation from scratch, the importance of surrounding yourself with the right people, and staying centred.
What led you to starting the Zen Tea Lounge Foundation?
So I have been working in social services since I was 18. I’ve worked in drug and alcohol, youth, and family services. When I had my kids, I took three years off work, and during that time I was really isolated, which I guess all mums go through, that feeling of being a bit disconnected from the world. I wasn’t looking forward to going back to work because I wasn’t really making a difference. I just felt that every single job that I’d had in the past few years was all about putting a bandage over the wound instead of curing the disease.
We move people around from service to service and we are all exhausted. Our system was definitely not built on trust, it’s based on fear. I really wanted to create something that dealt with these complex issues differently.
During this time, I had an idea as a bit of a side hustle to open an online tea business, and one of the ladies that was helping me was in this really awful situation where she was being paid $6 at her job, and she was in an abusive relationship. I created a job for her in the tea business, but I felt that it wasn’t enough, so I opened a cafe in Sydney as a social enterprise type model. We realised that just employing vulnerable people wasn’t enough though, and so we decided to create a proper foundation that focused on mental health support, running workshops on developing emotional intelligence and self-defence – things that empowered women emotionally and financially.
Starting an organisation like this is never easy. What have some of the challenges been?
Finding people that are passionate about the mission as well as securing funds to keep the organisation ticking over have been a constant challenge. Over the past four years we’ve had a great team of volunteers. But then when the first lockdown happened, we lost 80 per cent of those volunteers. When the second lockdown happened, we lost them all again. So it’s been hard, but people keep coming back because they are so passionate about the cause and helping us achieve our mission.
What advice do you have for other people out there wanting to make a change in the world like you did?
Understanding that the magic is not about identifying who’s at fault, the magic is understanding that where you are and how you feel about yourself is the most important thing.
We have this metaphor in Vietnamese that we use a lot; that where you are, on the cloud level, that is the same level as the wind. It doesn’t really make sense in English, but what it basically means is that you have a choice over what level you’re living at, and if it’s a good level, then your partner, your environment, your values, your family will be on that same level. If you want to be richer, stronger and more motivated, you surround yourself with that level and things will come to you. When you allow people to manipulate you, harass you, abuse you, you will stay the same and nothing will change. The only way out is to raise your rank and have high expectations for yourself. You deserve to be happy, to be loved and to find that trusted environment.
A lot of the country is in lockdown at the moment. What are some book, movie or podcast recommendations that have kept you sane?
I’ve been listening to a lot of audio-books, all around developing emotional intelligence, self-help and motivation, they’ve really helped focus me.
This piece originally appeared in Pro Bono Magazine’s Changemaker series