Here To Make Friends
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BY POPULAR DEMAND, THIS EVENT IS FOR CREATIVE, CHILDFREE, MILLENIALS AND GEN X-ERS
I keep getting requests from creative childfree-by-choice folks in this age range asking for a special session of Here to Make Friends, because they especially crave this kind of lifestyle match. So — here it is!!! If you're a creative, nerdy, curious kind of person who wants to add some new friends to your life, this is definitely the event for you.
Not a fit for this event? Hop on my newsletter to find out about future gatherings.
WONDERING WHO'S COMING?
All of the folks at this gathering use She/Her or They/Them pronouns. We have folks coming from New York, San Francisco, San Diego, Dallas, San Mateo, SE Ohio, Portland, San Leandro, Oakland, and Ottawa!
We have a SUPER fun and interesting group of folks! Here's a tiny snippet of how attendees describe themselves:
(The different colors above are supposed to indicate different people, but they damn sure make a fun Mad Libs game when they're lined up like this 😆.)
YOU’RE A GREAT FIT FOR THIS IF…
✨ #1: You’re open to meeting new people AND you’re motivated to create ongoing friendships.
✨ #1: You’re a creative, childfree millennial or Gen Xer, and you want to meet others who are too.
✨ #2: You’re willing to put time and effort into nurturing your new friendships so they can go from “cool acquaintances” to Real Friends. If you're looking for the friendship equivalent of a one-night stand, this event isn't for you! This is for folks who are willing to put some optimistic effort into the process of creating lasting healthy friendships.
OUR COMMUNITY AGREEMENTS
💜 Keep an open mind
💜 Listen with an open heart
💜 Be willing to try new things
💜 Treat each other with kindness and respect
💜 Respect privacy
💬 TESTIMONIALS FROM PAST PARTICIPANTS
“It was so LOVELY! The space felt like a warm hug. I was nervous at first but time went by so fast because I was thoroughly engaged and excited. The matching also felt spot-on, I instantly clicked with the people I was paired with. Kat did a wonderful job!”
“I feel more EMPOWERED and so glad that I found folks who really value friendships and want to RECIPROCATE!”
“This was very approachable even to the most introverted person... You made it easy and the conversation flowed...”
“I LOVED it! You created a very friendly, inviting, and intimate experience. I was surprised how genuine and real everyone was and how enjoyable it was. Thank you so much.”
“I had a wonderful experience meeting people that were creative, vulnerable, and honest.”
“This was a FANTASTIC event. I was really hesitant to sign up initially because things like this scare me but I'm glad I signed up and actually showed up!!”
“Do it. You'll learn so much and Kat is an awesome facilitator. The other people in the circle are great too because they also want to connect.”
“A safe and welcoming space to join like-minded people.”
“I already want to be friends with some of the people who spoke in the big group after the first session.”
“I'm still in touch with someone you matched to me at Here To Make Friends and it's been fantastic. I never would have found her without your help. We're weirdly on several of the same wavelengths in projects, and family issues, and how we both feel very close and comfortable being vulnerable with each other. And we haven't even known each other that long… It's been wonderful."
WHY PLATONIC MATCHMAKING EXISTS:
Adult friendship can feel hard AF for many reasons:
• You don’t know where to meet people who also want new friends…
• You don’t know who has the right stuff in common with you…
• It feels awkward to ask someone to be your friend…
…So instead, come get in a room FULL of people who definitely want thriving, reciprocal friendships, and your perfect matches will be hand-picked for you by a friendship expert (me!)
I'm Kat Vellos and I wrote the book We Should Get Together: The Secret to Cultivating Better Friendships. I'm a friendship expert who will be your personal platonic matchmaker. Hiring a romantic matchmaker to introduce you to your new love can cost $5,000-$50,000! When you come to Here To Make Friends, you’ll meet not one, but multiple custom-selected friend matches.
After you get your ticket, you’ll tell me about yourself and what kind of friends you’re looking for, and I’ll make the magic happen.
Here To Make Friends is a fun and fast-paced platonic speed-dating event for friendship coupled with a mini mighty workshop about the best things you can do to turn cool new acquaintances into lasting friendships.
This event brings together people who really want to make new friends and who are willing to do the work to co-create it.
I've been holding this event since 2021, and even held a special session in partnership with NPR's Invisibilia podcast in 2022.
Here To Make Friends is the only time that I offer my platonic matchmaking as a service open to the public. Come be a part of it!
❓ FAQS
Q: How big is this event? Will I get to connect with other people?
A: It's intim-ish (20-40 people). You'll meet each other folks in pairs or small groups, so it will feel small and comfy. You'll also have a chance to speak up and share about yourself in the main room if you'd like to. I encourage you introverts out there to start psyching yourself up to speak at least once while you're in the main room… Why? Because the folks who speak up in the main room are, in a sense, introduced to everyone at one time, and the people who speak in the main room tend to attract a lot of positive attention. People get more excited to know you when you let yourself be seen.
The people you’ll meet are specifically chosen for you based on what you say you’re looking for in a friend. I match people based on the curation info that I request participants send in after registering — that profile is based on the research that goes into what best supports people to form healthy, successful friendships. This expert-level, hand-curation that goes into your matchmaking is what you’re paying for, and it’s what makes this event different from any ol' random meetup. You're bound to meet people you want to keep in touch with because that's the whole point. :)
Q: What's the agenda like? What will we be doing?
A: This is a speed-dating event where the people you meet were specifically selected FOR YOU, and you get some mini mighty workshop segments interspersed between your matches. During the wisdom interludes, I'll be dropping knowledge about the best things you can do to turn cool new acquaintances into lasting friendships — so your new friendships can thrive!
Q: Will I definitely get to make a lot of friends who live within three blocks of my house?
A: To get results like that, you'll wanna invite LOTS of people in your neighborhood to get tickets and attend too (just paste the link to this page into your local Facebook or NextDoor groups to let people know it's happening). Look above to see the cities where folks have registered from so far!
I've thought of hosting sessions JUST for a specific region before or a specific city but it hasn't happened yet, largely due to how distributed my reader audience is. For that reason, I generally say this is a good event for people who want to make friends anywhere, and if some of your matches are local, then it's a cherry on top. But keep in mind — there are a lot of ingredients that determine compatibility (my matchmaking process is a proprietary blend of science and magic 🪄✨). Sometimes I've had multiple attendees who lived in the same city — but they were most compatible with people who lived somewhere else! When that happens, I try to make sure you meet BOTH types of matches! 😆 The entire event is designed for your optimal success. ❤️
Q: What kind of tech do I need to join? And is this a fancy occasion?
A: It’ll be on Zoom so you’ll need a webcam and a microphone — the built-in ones on your computer are fine — so people can see and hear you during the event.
I encourage you to arrive in any way that makes you feel feckin awesome, whether that’s in your pajamas, wearing your favorite fascinator hat, or in a sequin jacket like me. 💃🏽✨ Show up in any way that allows you to be your authentic self, when your authentic self wants to feel excited, confident, and magnetic.
Q: Will this be recorded?
A: Nope! This is a live-action, closed-door, private event. I respect people's privacy and I ask you to, too! You gotta be in the room when it happens. I'm purposely not recording so that people can feel comfortable opening up. Rest assured that you're not gonna end up on Youtube or TikTok or anything. Watching a replay also doesn’t make sense because this isn't the kind of event that you would watch later — it's all about interacting in real-time with your matches.
Q: What ages and genders is this event for?
A: Adults of all genders who are creative, nerdy, curious, childfree Millennials and Gen Xers.
If you're on the cusp of those generations and are open to making friends in those age groups, then you're absolutely welcome. If you're far outside the Millenial and Gen X age range, please sit this one out and hop on my newsletter to find out about future events.
My audience of readers and followers is full of the most delightful, connection-minded people, and these are the kinds of folks who come to Here To Make Friends.
Q: Can I attend with a friend or multiple friends?
A: Yep! But please let me know who you're attending with so I can split you up, ensuring that you get to meet new people. Otherwise, you might end up matched with each other!
Q: I'm worried that I'll meet cool people but then the connections will fizzle out after the event. Can you guarantee that I'll stay friends with the people I meet?
A: I can't guarantee that another human being will do anything because I don't control other people. BUT I will definitely be speaking to this tendency for things to fizzle out and I'll be giving you recommendations to support your continued success after the event. As with all friendships, your success in keeping the connection thriving comes down to each person making a personal decision to show up and be there for each other.
The mega-huge special thing about Here To Make Friends is that, by definition, this event is bringing together people who really want to make friends and are willing to do the work to co-create it. Hopefully, that means you will have more success here than you’d have at the random pug-owners happy hour event on Meetup.
And did I mention that there’s curated matchmaking by a friendship expert? There’s curated matchmaking by a friendship expert: Kat Vellos, the author of We Should Get Together: The Secret to Cultivating Better Friendships. Come and get these friends!
Q: Why does this event cost $99? That's like, two orders on DoorDash.
A: Would you rather have a few orders of pad thai or an entire new friend? 🤔 I used to charge less but it didn’t cover the tons of hours that I put into planning, curation, design, matchmaking, and facilitation so it didn’t feel like a fair energy exchange. As someone who has studied adult friendship for the last 5+ years and authored a book about adult friendship, I bring a lot of expertise to this experience; this isn't like going to a random meetup with no thought or purpose put behind how people meet and connect with each other. I intricately match people based on the curation info that I request participants send in after registering — that profile is based on the research that goes into what best supports people to form healthy, successful friendships. This expert-level, hand-curated matchmaking is what you’re paying for.
This is an event for people who are ready to make a real investment in the cultivation of friendship and community. If you’re not ready for that big dive, I totally understand! I do other events where people meet in a much more “light” way and that don’t involve matchmaking, but those events tend to be one-off experiences where people go their separate ways afterward (most virtual events are like that). You’re welcome to stay on my newsletter to check out announcements about other events like that. But I created Here To Make Friends to do something different — something deeper, more tangible, and more successful when it comes to helping people create the new friendships they truly want to have in their lives. ✨
Can't wait to see you soon!!
Legal disclaimer: Here To Make Friends, and all related programming facilitated by founder, Kat Vellos is designed for every member to voluntarily share what they wish with others, including their contact info if they choose to do so. We are thrilled to provide a platform and opportunity for people to make connections with each other, however We Should Get Together and Kat Vellos assume no liability for any connections made in our events and outside of them. We expect people to do the right thing and treat each other well, but if they don’t, that’s not our responsibility.