I hung onto this shame and now I'm releasing it
Hiya,
It's been awhile. Since the move, I've laid low in my business. While some of it is positive, some of it has been about the deep work around acknowledging the shame I've carried - that shouldn't have been mine to carry, yet how it deeply impacted me.
Part of it has been my focus on building systems and ways of planning and organizing that actually supported my neurodivergence. I'm sure I'll be talking more about that in the new year, but creating systems that actually support me is HUGE. And creating more space to take care of all of me is also a high priority right now.
That being said, I am still starting on a few awesome projects on helping people implement ethical and inclusive practices and culture into their organizations or find more sustainable ways of being are also happening. This new project making sure that board members who are the backbone of this organization, get fairly compensated for their work and the impact on the wider community is something I'm looking forward to! It's deeply important work. If you're ready to dive in with me and shift your small business or organization towards something more sustainable and ethical, let's chat.
But I digress. The reason I wanted to reach out to you today - I made a video. I stopped making videos and talking about my internal struggles in many ways because of this huge weight from shame and guilt that I have been carrying. I stopped showing up. I felt those judgements made about me, must be true. So I carried it alone for so long. And it has impacted me, my body, my well-being, and my soul. But I was brave and shared a little bit about my journey, my struggles, with carrying this heavy load and the impact that had on me and my body. I wanted to share the ways it was showing up, my own fears that those judgements were true, and how isolating it all felt. And as I began to confront these heavy pieces of shame that we're my own, something shifted internally.
This probably will be the first video of many that I make sharing not just about me personally, but about building a business and doing our work in a way that changes lives and nourishes us and our clients and communities.
This video is about 35 minutes. I do note, that I do mention trauma, assult, and abuse briefly, so do take care of yourself as you watch. And I would love for you to share in the comments about the shame you might be carrying and the ways you are releasing it. I promise to read and respond to every comment. Thanks so much in advance for witnessing and adding to the discussion about this.
It has felt like I have been shedding the layers of shame the last few weeks. And in it's place, I have felt hope and spaciousness that I have longed for but rarely felt. I feel the soil ready for planting new seeds of possibility and love again, in my heart as well as in my life and business.
Watch the video here:
Over to you, how has shame impacted you and your work? And how have you reclaimed yourself? I'd love to hear over in comments of the video.
In solidary,
Anuradha